Ups and downs

Well, life goes on.

Been struggling trying to keep my head up and not overdue it. I'm not used to having my body reject me in such a way. Usually I can push it to any limit and still keep going but now I feel like I have this big block thats keeping me back and I hate it.

I hate being kept down. Im not gonna let it keep me down. Seems one day Im doing better and then next day Im doing worse. Gotta focus on the little things that keep me happy in the meantime...... driving the beast....BRILLIANT....thanks again Rory. Love bumping around in that old girl.... you really did a great job on that truck Rory. Dad would be proud to see that thing rolling the town.

Thinking about Dad lots, his Bday is coming up. I forget how old he'd be but that doesnt matter. Ror and I will go for a drive when I come down this Sat. to see Mum cuz she went for surgery.... smoke one for him and spend time with big Bro.

Hope Mum is doing good. Glad she is getting this chance to feel healthier and be happier. Ill do what I can to aid in the process. Sometimes I wished I lived in Kamloops still, to be with my family more but I hope they all understand. I do miss them. But Ive gotta do my own thing for a while longer I think.

But just gotta keep on truckin'.
Dad said....." No change, no growth."
Amen..... oh and Karma can still go fuck herself...... haha

Winter Dances..... a little poem to keep u warm

The slightest whisp coalesces into gusts of frightened wind
All the leaves shake wildly, dance as though they've sinned
Crisp air nips at Summer's threatened heels
The cold is ravenous.... and warmth is its meal

Amber leaves cross shadows of trees from which they fell
And all the world transforms as though it's under spell
Veins of ice invade, the blood of winter rushes in
Its heartbeat grows stronger as it pulses from within

Those around catch glimpses as the daylight becomes thing
Of sunsets red and fading, of forests dark and dim
It seems most creatures find places safe and warm
Those who are braver, stand out, embrace the storm

Shivers become a second shadow, cohesive to your skin
Ice becomes so adament you can almost see it grim
Winter creeps slowly and attacks like a sharpened lance
Behold its frozen glory, stand back and watch it dance....

By Leah Robertson
Written Oct. 20, 2004

I wish Karma would get T-boned......

Sure had a string of bad luck these last few weeks...

There is a locket I wear around my neck with a pic of my Dad in it and I wear it all the time. I feel that it keeps him with me.... last night proved he was there with me

Driving to a friends house after work last night and was looking for his street.... it was dark and a little drizzley.... missed a stop sign and got T-boned pretty good. Ended up across the intersection against a fence, inches away from a power box. I am ok though.... I hurt real bad but Im ok.

My drivers side door was right up against my body and I was pretty out of it. Got taken to the hospital in an ambulance.... can't really remember details. Xrays and ultrasound followed.... I am in one piece.

Humbling how fast things can change. Scary how different things could have been. Someone was there..... definately.....

Im glad Im okay.... and thank u everyone for ur support.